I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.
The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an action movie legend. But, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.
The Role and That Line
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a hardened detective who poses as a kindergarten teacher to track down a criminal. For much of the movie, the investigation plot functions as a loose framework for Arnold to share adorable scenes with children. Arguably the most famous belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and informs the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”
The boy behind the line was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part encompassed a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the character of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with a slate of movies in development. Additionally, he engages with fans at popular culture events. Recently discussed his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, to a degree. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was great to work with.
“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I knew he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the hottest tech out there, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your experience as being positive?
You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the coolest toy, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would ask for my help to pass certain levels on games because I was able to, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all little kid memories.
That Famous Quote
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it caused the crew to chuckle. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it came about, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. A few scenes were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose someone in charge came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she had doubts, but she felt it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.
